Ian Kelly

Birthday:

May 10, 1981

Season Joined:

Fall 2004

Major:

Film

Dating Status:

McTaken w/ Cheese

Home Town:

Eastchester, New York

About Me:

I love pummeling my boy Jorge Sagastume in Madden 2005 almost as much as I love my Yankees. And I love my Yankees almost as much as I hate Will Rubio. Speaking of Will, he’s not so bad. In fact, I enjoy scratching his car with my snowboard and then using him for free rides to Park City and Sundance. Thanks, Will. KIT, bro!

I’m a huge TMBG guy, the Cohen brothers make me laugh, Santo Domingo is as cool as Manhattan, and George Bailey and Mariano Rivera are my heroes. I’m addicted to sports radio and if you’re up late enough, you might hear me call JT “The Brick” to voice my opinion.

On that note, I’d like to take this moment to laugh at all you BoSox bandwagon jumpers. Sure, October 2004 was a blast, but you have no idea what you’ve gotten yourselves into. The BoSox will not win another World Series over the course of your natural lives. Real Boston fans, (people I actually respect), won’t have a problem with that. But all of you spoiled idiots enjoying your perch atop that bandwagon are in for a world of pain and heartache. I hope you all fell deeply in love with the Red Sox because you will soon get a taste of what they supply more than any other franchise in the world: false hope. Might as well start group therapy now. Talk to a real BoSox fan. They’ll know where to point you. And when you hit 26, drop me a line.

And yes, I’m still bitter about dropping four straight games to the Red Sox last October.