A Sketch that Will Never Run…

I wrote the following song lyrics last year.  The lyrics are to be sung to the tune of Modern Major General.  For several reasons, the sketch turned out to be completely unperformable.   Since I think the writing is still quite clever, I’ve included the lyrics for your enjoyment.   (Read it with Modern Major General playing for best results.)

Big banks said that more money could be made upon their mortgage loans,

So they gave them to people who shouldn’t ever buy a home

Now the guy who makes your fries he has a palace on a hill

But then he realized he could not make enough to pay the bill

A couple million people now have loans that they can never pay

And so the bank comes knocking and there’s nothing they can do but pray

The bank says “we will take the house” and owner says “well that’s okay,

“Soon you’ll see it can’t be sold for any money anyway”

In the past we thought the homes would be for  us as a guarantee

But ‘roudn the country real estate has fallen like a chopped-down tree

So, now we own, around the land, a bunch of worthless property

Obama says the Fed should start to regulate our industry

The trouble with big companies is that they work like Dominoes

So if we fail, and go to jail, then everybody else gets hosed

Now the treasury thinks that we really need liquidity

Seven Hundred Billion bucks should end this whole mess rapidly

But I think we should take the cash and run away to Italy

Before the Fed comes down and tires to regulate the industry

Cause after that I guarantee it won’t be that much fun for me

I prefer to steal cash with unabashed impunity!