A Blog Post about How Much I Hate Dances

“Anti-social Dance” in the DC performance tonight asked us to compose a blog about why we hate dances.

Here’s our list (from Dc cast and crew):
1. Matt

2. Matt singing along with Jonas brothers.

3. Oftentimes I don’t like the music selection.

4. People try too hard.

5. Too much grinding.

6. Not enough grinding.

7.   That one guy that always ballroom dances, no matter the song, no matter the girl, no matter his dancing experience.

8. The couple that swing dances during swing-ish type songs then makes out during the rest.

8b. Getting kicked in the head by swing dancers.

9. All those stupid annoying people that go around dancing when I just want to stand in the back and talk over the noise.

10. The Hot Guys never ask you to dance, just the Weird Ones.

11. When they play the  YMCA and you want to spell other organizations.  WWF anyone?

12. DJ never honors your frequent request to play Pachelbel’s Canon in D.

13.  When your BF requests “Lady in Red”, but you’re actually wearing maroon.

14. It’s much too loud for you to focus on your reading of 1930′s criminal law.

15. When you’re a white rich ballerina and your boyfriend is a black hip hop dancer from the streets tempted by of life of gang violence, and your mother has died in a car accident and all you want to do is get into Juilliard, but you’re left emotionally crippled.

16. Glowsticks

17. Fog machine lung.

18. Jerks who spike the punch with Mountain Dew and Pixie Stix.

19. crossover hit Cotton Eye Joe.

20 Call me esoteric, but I don’t think the Hokey Pokey is what it’s all about.

21. When your mom insists on teaching you to dance in the foyer, even though everyone can see.

22. When your mom gives you a thumbs up every time the girl’s back is to her when you’re slow dancing.

23. Sweaty hands…

24. When you realize that the girl you are putting the moves on might in fact be your cousin from blackfoot idaho…

25. When your dancing partner is lip-synching the lyrics, but trying to hide the fact that they are doing so.

26. People.

27. This one time, I was dancing with this guy and he said, “I like you, too,” and I was like, WHAT?! But he was actually saying, “I like U2.”  …yeah…

28. Bulk Store-bought Cookies, or store-brand Oreos.

29. The fact that I look so much better than everyone else there.

30. The smell of spearmint gum in your partner’s mouth

31.The TASTE of spearmint gum in your partner’s mouth

32. When Mr. Johnson is dancing really close with Miss Gumphrey, even though Mrs. Johnson is RIGHT THERE.

33. When you’re dancing really close with Mrs. Johnson, even though Mr. Johnson is RIGHT THERE.

34. Andy Freeman

35. Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo

36. When swing dancing is the only way you can express your youthful desires in Nazi Germany, but your best friend joins Hilter’s Youth and you don’t know how you can all come of age in such a dangerous environment.

37.Everybody smells bad.

38. By everybody I mean all five people who show up.

39. I hate dances, but I hate Matt Meese more.

…and after that it just gets inappropriate. Hope you enjoyed!